The Ifonlyheshe Epidemic

Fri Mar 3, 2006 2:03 PM EST

It is a malady that afflicts nearly everyone at some point, sometimes becoming a chronic condition permanently affecting one's quality of life. The symptoms are pained expressions, rolling eyeballs, undefined yearning, and even depression.

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depression, opinion, epidemic

Satire: Constitution Taken Off Life-Support

Fri Mar 3, 2006 10:01 AM EST

(WASHINGTON, D.C., Newsvine Wire Service) In a highly controversial move vigorously protested by hundreds of people, President Bush ordered that the Constitution be removed from life-support yesterday after it had lain almost five years in a persistent delegitative state.

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bush, history, constitution, satire

Satire: Jesus Ends "Close Personal Relationship" With Local Youth Leader

Thu Mar 2, 2006 10:50 PM EST

(TOLEDO, Newsvine Wire Service) Religious leader Jesus "The Christ" Immanuel today ended His "close personal relationship" with local youth group leader Sarah Miller.

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religion, jesus, relationship, satire

Satire: Jesus Implicated in Elaborate Game-Fixing Scheme

Thu Mar 2, 2006 10:46 PM EST

(GREEN BAY, Newsvine Wire Service)-- Professional football player Zeke Johnson of the Green Bay Packers told reporters yesterday that shadowy over-world figure Jesus "The Christ" Immanuel significantly affected the outcome of yesterday's game against the Chicago Bears.

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church, religion, gambling, jesus, satire